Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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