He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
