Plan B is the new Plan A
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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