They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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