I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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