you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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