when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
