I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I have surprise drugs for everyone
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He better not be in your backpack
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I have fence marks all over my body
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
