i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
