Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
