Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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