did you get engaged???
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
