I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
