I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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