My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
