It was confusing and full of hummus
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
