As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
