so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Damn victory sex feels great
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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