Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
