I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You're earring is so big in my mouth
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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