I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
