I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
