i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
