is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
