I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
