I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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