____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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