this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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