Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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