before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
