What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
