Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
