Sponge bath it is.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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