Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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