your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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