i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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