I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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