Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just found puke in my bra..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
