youre lurking in front of me
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
