Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
