Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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