If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
