Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
