Do you still have your period?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
