I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
