And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
