I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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