The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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