redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
