Non-Jews are for practice
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
